Five tips to surviving the author in your life #giveaway

There are only two weeks left until Shadowborn comes out.  That’s only fourteen days! 

Ahhhhh!

So much of my soul went into this one.  Yes, I know, it’s just a book full of words about people and places that don’t exist.  Still, I agonized over every word, and showing it to the world is rather like exposing a nerve and waiting for the critics to come and give it a good flick.

While writing Shadowborn and Rise of the Magi, I may have–kinda–been a little, um … cough *crazy* cough.  I don’t envy my family, nor anyone who crossed my path during my edits. Although nobody told me outright, I know it mustn’t be easy living with one of us writerly folk. 

So, to help out other folks like my dear hubs, I thought I’d put together these hints.

Five tips to surviving the author in your life without going crazy:

One

While talking to your author, her eyes glass over.  Please don’t fly into a snit.  She doesn’t think you’re boring or long winded; it’s just that you can’t compete with the epic battle between a glittering horde of fae and an army of gorgeous vampires forming in her head.

Do not interrupt her now, or you might get slapped!  Simply go and have a coffee and wait for her to return to the outer realm.  And if she takes too long, try again in the morning.  Or maybe next week.

Two

Your author may strike up a conversation in the car about how she thinks John might be in love with Sara, but it would never work because he’s in the secret service and she’s a Russian spy.  These are her characters, and they are as real to her as you are.  Yes, they are.  Trust me! 

Just keep nodding and appear fascinated by her genius.  Under no circumstances ask what the hell she’s talking about or laugh.  Unless you want to be killed slowly by her laser stare all the way to your mother’s house.

Three

If you find your author bent over her laptop, typing madly and muttering to herself, do not approach for any reason.  She’s probably been trying to get this scene right for the last two hours, and she’s almost there … if only she could figure out how David will kill the gargoyle!  Breaking her concentration for something silly like suppertime or to point out that the house is burning down might just be the last thing you ever do.

Four

You come home from work to find your author hugging her kindle and bawling her eyes out.  No, you didn’t do something bad.  Her mother didn’t die of a heart attack.  Your dog is alive and well.  It’s just that she just had to kill off one of her favorite characters, and it broke her heart into smithereens. 

Do not tell her they’re not real and only exist in her imagination.  Seriously.  Unless you want her to break that kindle over your head.  Hugs work wonders, and if that doesn’t work, point out that she can always bring her character back in a dream or a flashback.  That’ll win you some brownie points.

Five

It’s the middle of the night.  Suddenly your author springs out of bed, chattering up a storm and racing around like a lunatic.  Don’t be afraid.  There are no bugs in the covers.  She isn’t in pain.  She’s not plotting to kill you even though her eyes are screaming crazy

Her mind has just solved the problem with her story arc and she can’t find a dang pen!  Find her something to write with and you can go back to sleep.  For now.  🙂

GIVEAWAY (International)

Comment below for your chance to win, and here’s what I’d like to know: 

Do you have any writers in your life? Or are you an author?  I’d love to hear about their/your quirks and rituals.  If you don’t know any authors, just tell me about your quirks.  The giveaway will end Wednesday at 8pm, when I’ll choose two commenters at random and send them each a signed Shadowborn bookmark.

Please don’t forget to leave me a way to reach you, email, twitter, facebook, etc. which will be used only for the purposes of arranging your prize.

To add Shadowborn to your TBR pile, click HERE

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13 thoughts on “Five tips to surviving the author in your life #giveaway

  1. I’m going to have to share this with my husband and our friends. Hilarious! (And I loved your story in Tidal Whispers. Wyatt and Nixie’s story made me cry. In a good way, I promise.)

  2. This is hilarious. I’m a writer and I need to share these tips with my wife. Sometimes she thinks I ignore her, don’t want to spend time with her, and/or hate her. But all these times are when I am on my laptop!

  3. Pingback: Top Picks Thursday 9-20-2012 « The Author Chronicles

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