Can one small choice shape your life?

I had a great evening out recently with a lovely lady I’ve only known for a short while  The food was great and the conversation excellent.  During our chat, she mentioned an old adage to me, that everything happens for a reason.

Now, I’m not a big believer in fate, per se, but our talk led me to another startling conclusion about my life.  I can pinpoint one single, seemingly insignificant decision of my husband’s that shaped both of our lives back as early as grade 8 for him and 9 for me.

Let me explain.

It’s 1987.  Hubby’s in intermediate, or middle school as it’s sometimes called.  He’s rather a smarty-pants, especially in math.  His teacher gives him the opportunity to jump ahead, walk next door to the high school and take grade 9 math even though he’s only in grade 8.

He chose to jump ahead, and as a result, I met him the next year in grade 10 math and here we are today, happily married with the best kid in the world, etc.

Now, let’s say he’d chosen to stay with his classmates for whatever reason.  He doesn’t jump ahead in math.  The result:  we wouldn’t have met.

Being in different grades, none of our other classes would have lined up, nor did we hang out in the same circles, and I certainly never considered going out for archery.  Our paths wouldn’t have crossed easily.

Might we still have met?  Sure, but the circumstances of our lives might very well have been different and the connection we made under the other scenario wouldn’t have happened, at least not in the same way.

We wouldn’t have gotten married or had our daughter.  I wouldn’t have gotten into archery, nor won the OAA Triple Crown or the Canadian National 3D Championship & Grand Prix.

I might not have gone to college at all, only did so at his prompting.  I might have ended up marrying some local yahoo and divorcing a year later or pumping out half a dozen kids and flipping burgers for the rest of my life.  I most likely wouldn’t be living in Muskoka, nor have become an author, as one led to the other, and the first came because Hubby got a job up there.

When I trace back the steps through my life, EVERYTHING hinges on my hubby making that one decision that led us to meet.  It’s staggering to wonder where I’d be if he’d said no instead of yes.

Can you pinpoint a single moment in time where one decision could have made a dramatic impact on your life?

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5 thoughts on “Can one small choice shape your life?

  1. There are several moments that impacted my life. I don’t believe in coincidence. I believe everything happens for a reason. It is when we balk against those things, that bad stuff happens (IMHO). that’s why I embrace everything that comes at me, tough or gentle, positive or negative. All of them, as well as my reaction to them, have led me to who I am today. One slight move in another direction, and my life may be completely different. Great post!

  2. Why, yes, yes, I can. Oddly enough, it led to me meeting Mr B. Though I could add more to the list, if pushed to think about it. Like the day my writer buddy began reading my chapters and loved them enough to offer to critique the entire novel–that chance ‘meeting’/relationship has gone on to change what’s happening in my life right now. But then I am a big believer in fate, and I very strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. 🙂

    • Yes, the single moment was deciding to help at a school function, where I met my husband. He has changed my life immensely and has taken on an important role in my childrens lives and has helped me acquire a good job. He puts me and family first and has made me a strong, confident person. I beleive everything happens for a reason and I was supposed to meet him that day. The teacher had to leave the camp that day because she was ill and my husband and I took over the outdoor class, so we obviously had to interact with each other. He did this with a cast on, hobblilng over fences and rocks, just for his nephew. That impressed me. He’s a take charge kind of guy and it was fun. I often wonder where I would be if I hadn’t met him. I don’t think I would be in a good place.
      My husband has taken me on many adventures across Canada, the U.S. and over to Europe to Paris, Scotland and England, which was my favourite. A most amazing trip. He got me into archery and I became an archery marshall in our group. Something I never would have done. I consider myself very lucky and its because of him these things have happened in my life.
      As Jenny said, its when we balk against things, that bad stuff happens, I have seen that first hand and I should know better. I don’t embrace change well and recently we moved to the Midland area because of work. I will admit, I balked big time, moving from my home, my family and my friends, but in the back of my mind I knew there had to be a reason. It may have not shown itself yet, but i’m sure it will in time.
      I look forward to many more adventures with him, and soon my daughter will be on board for a while. She is going through some major things in her life and we will help her with those transitions on to her new improved life.
      When I trace back the steps of my life, the mistakes I made in the beginning are very apparent, or are they? Out of that first failed marriage, I had two wonderful children who are shining lights in my life. So maybe it was meant to be.

  3. I’m 100% with you, Jo. Absolutely. There are many, many, many moments like that. When I think about it in terms of what might have been, it makes me thoroughly thankful for the way it did go. 🙂 Love those moments. 🙂

  4. I believe everything happens for a reason. I was injured on the job last year in March, tearing my right knee up really bad. Three surgeries and a year of physical therapy my doctor…your as good as your going to get. Even though I have lost a lot do to my injury. I found that novel I started years prior but never had time to finish. I’ve always had a love for reading and writing. Getting hurt was the best thing that could have happened. Minus the pain! I now have a job/schedule were I can write my debut novel and spend time with my daughter.

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